Disappointments

Having a child with a mercurial temperament who potentially might have ADHD and/or autism is very difficult to deal with, even more so for other children who might not understand.  Our daughter wants to socialize and have friends but doesn't seem to retain any understanding of the "rules" for doing so even though both my husband and I have patiently explained on multiple occasions how she should behave.

I do feel sorry for her.  She was anticipating being invited to a friend's birthday today, and spent the entire day indoors waiting for a phone call that never came, despite the fact that I called them twice and left messages.  Other friends who had previously invited her to their birthdays did not do so this year.  The last two years that I've hosted birthday parties for her, only a fraction of the invitees showed up - the rest never even bothered with an RSVP.

There's no doubt this happened because of her behavioral issues.  It has caused us all no end of frustration and disappointment.  It has also disappointed me in the respect that so many people can't or won't understand how to get along with her.  I'm tired of always having to be the one to reach out and call her "friends" to arrange play-dates.  If these people don't bother to call or return messages it's clear that they want little to do with her.

She's an intelligent girl and she knows that she's being ostracized.  But she often can't help behaving the way she does, which just makes things worse.  It came as no surprise that at a recent doctor's evaluation we were told that she was immature for her age, because she does tend to get along better with kids younger than her.

Unless we can get her to truly understand what she needs to do and how she needs to behave, she will forever be on the fringes of society.