Monday, 23 September 2013

Autumnal Reflections

"Still don't know what I was waiting for, and my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets and every time I thought I'd got it made, it seemed the taste was not so sweet." -- David Bowie

Autumn has arrived, and the leaves on the trees are not the only things that are changing.

My father, who will be turning 75 soon, seems to be losing his faculties.  He can't remember the names of many people whom he has known for years.  The last time he drove me back from his house, he would have gone through two intersections had I not called his attention to the stop signs.  His doctor claims there's nothing wrong with him, but I'm not so sure.

The management of the rowhouse complex where my family is living changed over last year. Since then, many people including myself have noticed a marked decline in the upkeep of the grounds.  Two of the long-time maintenance staff who were well-known by the residents as friendly and efficient were fired and replaced by people who barely speak English, and they don't do their jobs well.  Branches aren't being picked up, trash bins on the grounds aren't being emptied, the promise of new windows for many of the residents hasn't been kept.  Even the front office seems to be closed most of the time.  It's a shame because the previous administration had worked hard to keep up the buildings and attract residents with young families.  Now many people are moving out, and we will probably also move next summer.

Two acquaintances on Facebook have recently left their boyfriends, under similar circumstances:
"I spent the last two days listening to you bitch and moan about how bad you have it and how you NEVER feel like you come first in my life when I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU!!! I Love you but I'm D-O-N-E DONE!!! I asked you to do one thing for me today: take me to the fair. You have been home all week doing NOTHING. But no, you can't put me first for once can you?  I don't need or deserve to be treated like this and I won't let you any more!"

"Once again I am the biggest ass in the world for believing in someone, supporting them through hard times and falling in love with them. Believing when they say they care and they love me too. Only to be shut out and ignored. We're finished."

Another woman I know is about to have a baby at age 45, despite all the advice she had against it.  She already has four other older children by three different men, and has never worked in a steady job as far as I know. When directly questioned about what's happening in her life, she avoids the question or doesn't respond at all.

As for me?  Still stuck in the same rut.  I can't seem to write much.  My hopes to find a part-time job while my daughter is in school grow dimmer, as nobody seems interested in the applications that I send - and I have sent dozens.  The majority of brick-and-mortar jobs around here appear to be in retail sales, an area in which I have no experience whatsoever.

Well, all I can do is keep my chin up and soldier on.