Sunday, 10 January 2016

Love or Obsession

There's a (yet another) meme that says "If you have a wonderful man who is your whole world, who isn't perfect, but perfect for you, who works hard and would do anything for you, who makes you laugh, who is your best friend and sometimes your only friend, who you want to grow old with (if you don't kill him first), who you are thankful for every day, then share this."

While it's a nice sentiment, I won't share it on my social media feeds.  Here's why.

My whole world doesn't consist of just one person or revolve around one person (other than myself of course) although I admit that my beloved husband does resemble the above-mentioned meme.  I don't let just one person define me.  My world is my family, my friends, my writing, my enjoyments.

Anyone who narrows their vision to show only one other person is setting themselves up for a huge shock later on.  It's akin to a horse wearing blinders: one focuses on an immediate concern while at the same time losing sight of all the surrounding goings-on that might also be important.  That is obsession, plain and simple.  It's commonplace in the early part of a relationship, and it's dangerous if not recognized.

In the book "When Harlie Was One" by David Gerrold, psychologist David Auberson and a sentient computer known as H.A.R.L.I.E. debate on the nature of human emotion.  Auberson theorizes that sex should happen before real love can be achieved because it's necessary for a more mature outlook.

Or as Willow put it after her tryst with Oz in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode 'Graduation Day': "Everything's different now."

Unfortunately there are people who don't mature beyond the crush-lust-obsession stage, which causes too many relationships to end badly.  Sometimes with devastating results.  Hate and love are two sides of the same coin, after all.

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