Thursday, 8 January 2015

New Year Exhaustion

A mere week into 2015 and I'm already tired.  Not so much the physical fatigue that comes with the hectic events of the holidays, but a mental and emotional fuzziness that doesn't want to dissipate.  Ordinarily I'd laugh it off and attribute it to the cold snap that we're enduring at the moment but the reality is that I'm just disillusioned.

We're not starting the new year off well from a personal standpoint.  My husband has not been employed for over ten months.  He's had scores of interviews but no firm offers.  I have been looking for work for over two years and only had a handful of nibbles in all that time.  Scouring job sites and other resources has become a daily mind-numbing routine.  I've even gone old-school and hand-delivered applications to local businesses, to no avail.

I rage against a system that's purposely designed to route job applications into a computerized black hole, and against recruiters who don't have the courtesy to respond to inquiries.

Nothing changes.  And I'm fed up.

When I see friends of mine crow about how successful their self-built businesses are, I wonder if I could have done the same.  Unfortunately it's far too late for that; the market for hand-made merchandise is glutted, and writers of most stripes get little attention unless they're heavily controversial or they get extraordinarily lucky.  Had I been serious about pursuing that I should have started ten years ago.

More recently my husband has been luckier in terms of interviews, but the jobs he's looking at are in a place that I do not wish to live in.  I've visited that particular city a number of times but never liked it.  Logically I know that one must go where the opportunities are.  Many of my high-school and university classmates now live in another province.  Call me romantic but I don't want to leave home.

My great-grandfather took a job out west and sent money for the rest of his family to join him.  His wife refused to leave their home and ended up raising her family on her own.  My grandfather subsequently felt abandoned by his father and refused to speak about him for the rest of his life.  It makes for an interesting story but I would prefer that history not repeat itself.

1 comment:

  1. My husband was laid off five (6?) years ago and has been scrabbling ever since. Only he apply's and gets far less interviews- I think he got two last year. He's working here and there, but not full time, not consistent, not enough. - I don't have as much trouble finding work - I never have. But it's not the type of work that generally supplies an income and benefits for a family either. It is exhausting. And yet, at the end of your rope, what do you do? Keep looking for opportunities. Keep hoping for tomorrow. -And don't give up on the writing. People buy all kinds of books on amazon these days - while you might not break it big, you just might put something in the bank and be able to call yourself a writer who sells books.